When I was a child, the mere mention of the word “Christmas” would turn any day of the year into December 24th for me. And things like colored Christmas lights, little Christmas villages and certain Christmas songs would make me long for what I considered to be the most magical day of the year…

…and now – the slightest mention of anything having to do with the holiday makes me wish it was December 26th.

Due to a number of current stressful situations in my life that have made it absolutely impossible for me to be merry, I have less Christmas spirit right now than ever before in my life. If I had my way, I would take a sleeping pill tomorrow night so I could wake up on Sunday morning, when the holiday season will finally be over. While everyone else I know, from my co-workers to my friends to my family have been shopping, decorating and playing Christmas music – I refuse to decorate, I can’t stand hearing nothing but incessant Christmas music over and over and over and over again – and I have not even begun my holiday shopping yet – despite the fact that Christmas Eve is only two days away.

The really ironic part about my lack of Christmas spirit this year is that this seems to be becoming an annual pattern. For the last few years, life and its little surprises have seemed to turn sour right around the holidays. As I prepared to write this column, I looked at Christmas columns I have written the last few years and realized that indeed, my Christmases have not been merry for a while now. From titles like, “So, This Is Christmas” to “It Doesn’t Feel A lot Like Christmas” to “24 Hours of Christmas – 22 Days Too Early” – it appears as though my Christmas spirit has been gone for a long time – and I fear that it may never return.

I remember when Woody and Michelle were decorating their apartment for our joint holiday party a few weeks ago and asked me to decorate as well – and I told them no. I remember when decorating my house for the holidays was such a thrill for me that I would sometimes start Thanksgiving Day. But this year, I refused – because the last thing I want to do is deck my halls with anything. Even something as simple as Christmas cards annoy me this year. I have not bought a single card to send to anyone, and have been throwing away any cards that have been given or mailed to me. In the past, I used to save every card I got in a Christmas mailbox that read, “Year after year, may it never fail – the Joy of sending Christmas mail.” Not any more.

As we inch ever closer to Christmas, my disdain for the holiday continues to worsen, my Christmas spirit continues to fade – and the only day I am looking forward to is December 26th.

Ba Humbug.